Christ Centered Relationships
Francis & Lisa Chan

A time to share, A time to care.



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On Marriage & Celibacy

Although often I delight in the thought of having a family, practically it's simpler and easier to just stay single for the rest of my life. I don't need to worry where my husband is, nor what my kids are going to eat tomorrow. I only need to take care of me, myself & I most of the time. And I will have more time for my parents, grandparents, ministry, career, friends, social work, etc. Looks good isn't it? Maybe. Maybe not. I need to ask myself again, why do I want to stay single? Why do I want to be married? What's the motive behind all those thots? Jer 17:10 says,"I the LORD SEARCH THE HEART and EXAMINE THE MIND, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve." Only the Lord knows my heart & thots thoroughly, in details. Guess what, I don't even know my own motives sometimes.

So, yeah recently i've been having a constant fear of being married. What if he's the wrong guy? ..What if I get hurt again? ..What if I can't do certain things because my husband doesn't like it? and there goes the list.. hundreds of other "what ifs". But all that came down to one question, why do I have FEAR? Is it because I'm concerned about myself? 1 John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love." And only after I spent lots of time with the Lord, He opened my eyes to see this thing with a clear vision. He made me realize that the bottom line comes back to God. Of cos God cares about what we like, cos we are His sons and daughters, and He loves us, He wants to give the best. But what's the best thing a good son/ daughter can give back to their daddy? Our love, yes. And for God, loving Him means obeying Him, caring only for His interest. Who is this marriage for? God. If I end up staying single, who is it for? God. In the end, it should be for God. Why? He loved me first. He gave me life first. Only 'til we are able to say "I have nothing to lose, nothing to prove, nothing to hide, because Jesus is enough for me, and the reason I live.", life would not make sense as a Christian.

So, if an earthly marriage is a designated Cross that I need to endure, and part of God's plan to mature me, make me into His likeness, and is part of His multifaceted purposes for my life, then..let it be! Done according to His will. If my future husband and I can be a TEAM to fulfill God's purpose in our lives and bring positive impact to our community, what's there to lose? why not? Two are better than one, cos they can help each other to succeed (Ecc 4:9). Nuthin's better to reach the finish line hand-in-hand! :)

I believe that God only designs excellent plans for His beloved children- no room for mediocrity. No Cross is too difficult to carry. No marriage is too complicated to build. His grace is enough! So I shall not make my own runaway plan to avoid marriage, nor to rush it :) As long as I keep surrendering all to the One who's All-knowing, He knows best.. If it is His will for me to marry, He will bring me to the one He has prepared to complement me perfectly in every way, just like when He intro Eve to Adam.. Ruth to Boaz.. Rebekah to Isaac, in His time. God is really the MATCHMAKING MASTER. Everything is made BEAUTIFUL in His time. :) If he's for me, then he's for me. If he's not, then he's not. So now, to marry or not to marry didn't become my concern anymore. But God's. :) I just need to obey His guidance, and take that step of faith. He'll settle the rest! :D

A Time for Everything

Lord, I learn that a lot about life is learning to balance things out.
There’s working hard, but also rest.
There’s time to learn, but also to teach.
There’s a time to be joyful, and a time to mourn.
There’s a time to ask, time to answer.
Time to give, time to receive.
Time to speak, time to be silent.
Time to rush, time to slow down.
Time to forgive, time to say sorry.
Time to accept, time to reject.
Time to buy, time to sell.
There are mountains, there are valleys.

The Lord Jesus Himself is a very balance man in every way- both His humanity & divinity. I’m just thankful. Thankful that I have a good Lord… whose life is a perfect example of this balance. May we be a people who aspire to be balance in every way like the Lord does. :)

The Gift of Forgiveness

Just watched a movie 2 weeks ago that reminded me of a great principle we can live with to have a life free of burdens.. :)

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." -Matt 6:14

In the movie, they shared an interesting fact about bees. When a bee sting on something (its victim, i guess..), it produces some kind of toxic substance and then penetrates it into the victim's body. But what's more surprising is, that the substance will pollute the bee's body itself after sometime. whoa!

So..just like the bee, when we are bitter with someone, no matter what the reason is, or how big their offenses toward us are, we are the ones who get hurt more. We might have all the right reasons to be angry or to feel hurt. But, why bother keeping the bitter junk in our hearts? It does us no good at all. It will even make us look pathetic and disperse negative influences amongst our friends. Bitterness can only eats up our joy.

And all the more, we're humans- we're bound to make mistakes too. We've probably have wronged or hurted some people too, without our knowledge. And it's usually easier to forgive others after we've experienced a guilty feeling from hurting others. We'd feel relieved after someone has graciously forgiven us. Sometimes these circumstances happen for a reason- to mold our character, to break our pride. After all, God is just. He will convict us to ask for forgiveness from others but He also wants us to forgive others. :)


As I write and ponder about this issue, I reflect back to my own experiences. Recently, God has been dealing with me a lot in this area of bitterness. I didn't realize it, but the Lord revealed some heartaches and issues that have been left unresolved. Then, He made me see that bitterness can only destroy me. I didn't get anything by being bitter. Only after I decided to forgive the person in my heart and to welcome the person again, that I truly felt the freedom from forgiving. In the end, my heart feels light, and I can think and function optimally at work. And I realize that to forgive is a choice. We don't need to wait until the person comes to us and say sorry. It's a GIFT. When God forgives us of our sins on the Cross, He didn't sign up for an insurance- just in case we don't want Him. :)

To Trust again is a different thing though. There's a very fine line between forgiveness and trust. The Bible clearly tells us that we need to forgive every time no matter what, but to trust- I believe it's something that has to be proven thru time. But I also believe that everybody deserves a second chance. While trusting makes you vulnerable, if you choose not to trust, you could miss out on so much joy God desires for you. You were created for relationships based on both trust and forgiveness. You may move slower in trusting others, but don’t let fear steal your joy and imprison you in anger and hurt. You can trust again … with God’s help.

Dear Friends, the Lord has given a perfect example about forgiveness. This matter will become easier to do if we have someone accountable to pray and share our burdens with. We can encourage one another. Even if it seems impossible or too difficult to let go, but if we really have the willingness to forgive, The Lord will give us the grace to do so.

Have a blessed day :)

The Journey

In our walk with Christ, every moment, every day, we are faced with new challenges and trials. The journey is long, and sometimes tiring.. but God has promised that there's always enough strength/grace for every step of the way.

Sometimes I ask myself, is my faith something real or just a bogus routine? I believe we often have to ask ourselves, are we real? Sometimes I admit, I get caught in the mediocrity of just living my own life, a self-centered yet religious life that doesn't even contain or express God Himself. And the truth is...anything, sometimes good things, can take Christ away as our focus. Career, ministry, relationships, good cause, family, anything, can take away our focus from Christ.

Sometimes we just want to have both the luxury of the world & the safety of Lord at the same time. If we put our heart in the world and in God, it's called compromise, my dearest. We cannot serve 2 masters. Our heart should be either black or white; cant be grey. It doesn't mean that we have to renounce all earthly things and want to live in sufferings or a total separation from the world. The martyrs are given a special grace. But the main idea is to not put our heart in the things that are going to vanish one day. We are IN the world-physically, but not OF the world-not part of its values. We can still enjoy all these things while we live, in the thought that we were all just stewards of the God-given blessings.
More explanation at --> http://www.gotquestions.org/in-but-not-of-world.html

This journey is like a long race. Would you want to receive nothing after enduring so much? We know that our hope in Christ is not in vain.
He is the Reason we live. Everything should come back to this cause, to these basics of life: A love that is blind, hope that is fervently grounded in Christ. Let's take time to turn our eyes back to the Author & Finisher of our Faith, Jesus Christ, in whom we found true peace, life & joy.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." -Heb 12:2

Learning from Cain & Abel:
When our heart is more important than sacrifice

God refuses a sacrifice when our life is not right, and when our heart is not right.
Cain displayed a proud, unbelieving heart in the manner in which he approached a holy God. He worship & sacrifice things on the altar according to what he thinks is right, without consulting God of how it ought to be. So, his offerings were rejected by God.

On the other hand, Abel came as a dependent sinner and according to God's prescribed appointment. His sacrifice expressed humility, sincerity, and believing obedience. Abel offered in faith, but Cain not (Hebrews 11:4).

God refuses Cain's offerings not because it's different from Abel- not because it's just fruits! But Cain's life is not right before the Lord. If Cain has repented, instead of denying his sins, God would have forgiven him. Regretfully.. it didnt happen. Cain permit hatred to take a deep root in his heart, and it produced serious consequences. Cain hardened his heart continuously and this was an invitation for Satan to come and make a stronghold in his life.

Cain and Abel both had the same background and opportunities. One chose to follow the Lord, and the other went his own way.

Dear friends,
It's important that we do a regular heart check. Are we walking in the Lord's righteousness at the moment? Have we forgiven those who have sin against us? Do we come to the Lord in all honesty and humility? Let's remind ourselves again, so that our relationship with God will be unhindered. :)


Source: Rephrased from the book "Genesis: The Book of Beginnings" by Dr. Brian J. Bailey.

What On Earth Am I Here For?

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.


One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity...


We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.


We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.


Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-center-edness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off your-self and onto God and others.


We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.


You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.


So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9

and Psalm 72.


First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit... We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.


Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.


Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.


We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?


When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD...

The Kingdom first! :)

I'm amazed.. by the power of God that is still working thru and in His people to this day. I had just read about a story about a 'born-loser' property salesman in Singapore, had just believed in Christ because some dear Christians shared about Christ to him. And the most amazing thing, few months back, his brother had been praying for this guy for someone to give him a sales, as a sign that God wants to be a part of his life. It was such a simple testimony, but it made my day.

Sometimes we're just so caught up in the complacencies of life everyday that we leave God on the rack. We wait until our needs are met, then we praise God. Yea God is somewhere there, in our life, in our heart, but most often, we put Him on the 10th to-do list in our day, maybe when we're about to go to bed, or during lunch/dinner time or maybe we 'forget' to say hi at all. Or do we put God first?

I remember the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13..
" 9 Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in Heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

If you see how this prayer is constructed, the Kingdom comes first, then our needs next (bread). There's a reason to it. Our Father knows our needs already. If we ask for bread, He won't give you stone. But when we put our heart on the matters of the Kingdom first- seeking the mind of Christ in everything we do, and willing to leave our complacency to share the love of Christ, then only the glory of God will shine forth our lives... and when we call, He will answer (Isaiah 58:7-9).

My prayer today:
"Lord, help us...to know You more. To know what it meant to live for the Kingdom of God. That others will testify that You, Jesus Christ is Lord and come to know You too. Amen."

QUIET TIME
by Susan Lenzkes, from 'Life is Like Licking Honey Off a Thorn'

You wrote Your glorious name
across the heavens and it read
ELOHIM - The Creator

You pronounced Your holy name
to Your people and it was
YAHWEH - Lord of Relationship

You posted Your powerful name
at life's valleys and dead-ends and it was
EL SHADDAI - All Sufficient God

You spoke Your lovely name
into fears and conflicts and it was
JEHOVAH SHALOM - The Lord Our Peace

You whispered Your compassionate name
into sorrow and brokenness and it was
JEHOVAH JIREH - The Lord Provides

You signed Your most beautiful name
in blood upon our hearts and it was
JESUS - Jehovah is Salvation