On Marriage & Celibacy

Although often I delight in the thought of having a family, practically it's simpler and easier to just stay single for the rest of my life. I don't need to worry where my husband is, nor what my kids are going to eat tomorrow. I only need to take care of me, myself & I most of the time. And I will have more time for my parents, grandparents, ministry, career, friends, social work, etc. Looks good isn't it? Maybe. Maybe not. I need to ask myself again, why do I want to stay single? Why do I want to be married? What's the motive behind all those thots? Jer 17:10 says,"I the LORD SEARCH THE HEART and EXAMINE THE MIND, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve." Only the Lord knows my heart & thots thoroughly, in details. Guess what, I don't even know my own motives sometimes.

So, yeah recently i've been having a constant fear of being married. What if he's the wrong guy? ..What if I get hurt again? ..What if I can't do certain things because my husband doesn't like it? and there goes the list.. hundreds of other "what ifs". But all that came down to one question, why do I have FEAR? Is it because I'm concerned about myself? 1 John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love." And only after I spent lots of time with the Lord, He opened my eyes to see this thing with a clear vision. He made me realize that the bottom line comes back to God. Of cos God cares about what we like, cos we are His sons and daughters, and He loves us, He wants to give the best. But what's the best thing a good son/ daughter can give back to their daddy? Our love, yes. And for God, loving Him means obeying Him, caring only for His interest. Who is this marriage for? God. If I end up staying single, who is it for? God. In the end, it should be for God. Why? He loved me first. He gave me life first. Only 'til we are able to say "I have nothing to lose, nothing to prove, nothing to hide, because Jesus is enough for me, and the reason I live.", life would not make sense as a Christian.

So, if an earthly marriage is a designated Cross that I need to endure, and part of God's plan to mature me, make me into His likeness, and is part of His multifaceted purposes for my life, then..let it be! Done according to His will. If my future husband and I can be a TEAM to fulfill God's purpose in our lives and bring positive impact to our community, what's there to lose? why not? Two are better than one, cos they can help each other to succeed (Ecc 4:9). Nuthin's better to reach the finish line hand-in-hand! :)

I believe that God only designs excellent plans for His beloved children- no room for mediocrity. No Cross is too difficult to carry. No marriage is too complicated to build. His grace is enough! So I shall not make my own runaway plan to avoid marriage, nor to rush it :) As long as I keep surrendering all to the One who's All-knowing, He knows best.. If it is His will for me to marry, He will bring me to the one He has prepared to complement me perfectly in every way, just like when He intro Eve to Adam.. Ruth to Boaz.. Rebekah to Isaac, in His time. God is really the MATCHMAKING MASTER. Everything is made BEAUTIFUL in His time. :) If he's for me, then he's for me. If he's not, then he's not. So now, to marry or not to marry didn't become my concern anymore. But God's. :) I just need to obey His guidance, and take that step of faith. He'll settle the rest! :D